Bedtime Stories

The one-winged pigeon

The one-winged pigeon

Once upon a time there was a pigeon who only had one wing. She was a very brave pigeon and she managed to get by ok. Unfortunately she was teased by all the other pigeons. They would make fun of her, laughing and sneering and saying you can't fly straight, or fast, or gracefully. Whilst unkind, it was unfortunately true. When the one winged pigeon tried to fly, she ended up going in circles. Around and around, around and around.

Little did all of the pigeons know that the one-winged pigeon was in the process of crafting a prosthetic wing, made from sticks and sheepskin. And not just any sheepskin; but the finest sheepskin in England. This sheepskin came from the sheep in Doncaster. Hundreds and hundreds of sheep in Doncaster who listened to reggae. They listened to reggae all day long and all night long. Slowly bopping up and down all day long and all night long, listening to reggae, with their wool formed into dreadlocks. All of this listening to reggae and bopping up and down, up and down, up and down, made these sheep very relaxed and also very tired. They often became very sleepy and their eyelids became heavy and they would drift off into sleep, dreaming of reggae and bopping up and down, up and down, up and down. Some of them even dreamed of Jamaica; of blue water and golden sand, and palm trees and brilliant sunshine. All the while, bopping up and down. The lifestyle of these sheep - listening to reggae all day and all night, being so relaxed - made their skin very soft, and very strong, and very supple, and very desirable.

Anyway, one morning, the pigeon put on her new prosthetic wing, and started to fly. Zoom! She soared through the air, full of glee. Without gloating, she caught up to the other pigeons mid flight - and not only could she keep up with them - she could fly faster and more gracefully than the other pigeons! She flew past one pigeon, did a loop around and flew past another, and carried on flying circles around them all!

One of the other pigeons was jealous, and decided to get their own prosthetic wing. He couldn't stand not being the fastest pigeon. He removed his natural wing, and ordered a stick and skin wing. However, this skin was from sheep that lived in Hull - and the sheep that lived in Hull didn't listen to reggae, and they didn't bop up and down all day. Instead, they had their wool straightened and listened to glam rock all day long, and all night long. And instead of slowly bopping up and down, they would vigorously shake from side to side, and jump up and down dramatically, in time to the glam rock. These sheep also became very tired, very sleepy, with heavy eyelids, because of all of their dancing, and sometimes they even drifted off to sleep. But their frenetic lifestyle caused their skin to be taught and brittle.

The jealous pigeon wasn't aware of the musical sensibilities of the sheep from Hull, and so didn't know that his prosthetic wing wouldn't be so soft or supple. When the wing was finally ready, with great excitement he put it on and set off flying with the rest of the pigeons. To his utter dismay, he couldn't fly as quickly as the other pigeons, and after a few minutes of flying, he noticed a hole had developed in the wing's skin! Oh no! Because of the brittle skin, and the hole inside the wing, he started flying around in a circle! He couldn't stop it, and try as he might to keep going straight, he ended up flying around and around and around in a circle. The other pigeons were laughing at him, but not the one-winged pigeon, for she knew what it was like to not be able to fly straight. She thought to herself, "It serves you right for mocking me and then trying to get a new wing to fly faster than me", but she was too busy enjoying herself flying gracefully through the air to join in with the teasing.

What was that she could hear coming from the ground? It was the faint sound of reggae! Yes, that's it, she realised, I'm coming over Doncaster! And there are the friendly, relaxed sheep underneath me, bopping up and down, up and down, up and down, listening to reggae. She swept down to do some bopping herself, and became very relaxed, very tired, very sleepy, and gently closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of Jamaican sun, spicy fish and goat, fishes swimming through the water, happy crabs on the sand, and of microphones and soundsystems.